Today nothing is wrong. According to him everything is just great . But not for me. I want an apology . I am so tired of being hurt over and over. I am going to build a wall so insure not being hurt ..

A week has gone by. He has been out of town for a week. Hope was given by the fact that he called so much thus week. I was so looking forward to his coming home. I did everything I knew to do to make coming home pleasant. Cleaned did laundry cook a good dinner and had it waiting on him. The only comment made was you forgot to take down the garbage cart ... In an angry mad tone ... I've met the kids needs all week worked 2 jobs gotten little sleep and that's the remark I'm given needless to say I was furious I loaded all the garbage in my car and took it to a dumpster. Far be it from me to have garbage outside in a cart to ruin his happy weekend . No apology..... Nothing .. I can't sleep now and the weekend I was looking so forward is now ruined ... Love does not last ... It can not be rekindled ... There is no hope tonight ... I am empty ... I am

Our Life

Where we are today is I asked him to go with me to see someone for marriage help. He said he didn't know if he could do that. He has no fight left in him. He says he gave and gave and now he has nothing left.

Life

I am starting this online journal for myself to write down thoughts, feelings and life that Im going through in hopes that one day I look back and see how things can change. If anybody else chooses to read it and offer advice, experience, or whatever you wish that will be an extra bonus. I am using an annonmous name so that I can be truly honest without the fear of my children or family reading this.



I am a pushing 50 woman with three kids, the last about to graduate from high school. I never dreamed I would be where I am in life.



It all started 28 years ago when I married the most wonderful man with whom I was madly in love and we were best friends. I was his world he was mine. We shared everything. For two years we were happier than I could have ever dreamed.



Kids came, life got busy, we drifted, and push forward to today and we are roomates...He lives his life I live mine.



We have brief moments of good, but they get less and less. I still love him deeply and want the good again.....Over the years Ive hurt him, he has hurt me. Its as if we cant get past that. I dont want to spend the next 25 years in a house living together but alone.....

The Beginning