You've gone out of town . You do call at nite but you say nothing and it's almost as if it's so youcan say you did. You even fell asleep while I was trying to tell you something. You give ur best to the people youwork with and I'm sure to her. I don't even get left overs I get nothing. Why do I even try.. You don't why do I even care you don't . This will never change.

Today I decided to confront. He has said I don't so I proved him wrong and did.

I questioned his working late. Told him the kids asked where he was xnd why he works all the rme one even questioned if he was is he having an affair...

Highlights of what was said
He doesn't have the energy to work on our relationship
Communication with me is nothing but frustrating and too much work
He has no expectations
He feels like he owes me nothing
He loves me but doesn't like me
Christians have dissdpointnted him and let him down
He doesn't want to do things to help my vain imaginations because it will never be enough I will always want more.

What I got
I'm not worth the fight
I'm too much to much frustration
Our relationship is bad and there isn't anything he wants to do about it bc it's too much work
He gave me everything he had and it did no good it forever changed him and he will never go back
He isn't who I married
Basically he has given up

Isn't life grand

Nothing was ever said about Sunday ... Things have been ... Well no I'll words. He worked till 3:30 in morning Tuesday and 1:30 Wednesday and midnight last nite... No call nothing ... It's almost as if he thinks he owes me nothing. This time I really don't care... I'm almost to that point that I was worried was coming.

Today is thanksgiving. I do have much to be thankful for.

Dinner last night with family daughters boyfriend is here. I ended up sitting by him and he had to talk to me. Not much was said.

This morning he acts like everything is great. I'm praying for god to reveal himself and for us to talk .

We will see

Monday fasted and prayed all day prayed for us and that he wouldnt go work and would talk he didn't go but no communication.. Yesterday no work and it's almost like he did nothing wrong...

I have been accused of part of the reason he has problems with god . I believe that is something u can't blame on others.

I have been accused of our finianical ruin but he played a big part on that.

I have been accused of pushing him away he wasn't there half of the time

I have been accused of loving our children. More than him but that door swings both ways.

How did we get to this point ? His lack of belief in gods power. The distance , being roomates and thats it.
I know these are random thought but I just need to put down what I'm feeling .....

I almost feel as if there has been a death. After our conversation Sunday and they way he talked tone and the way he responded I feel so sad and almost as if there is no hope.. I know this isn't what god wants our relationship and how can we have any spiritual relationship .if I regard iniquity in my heart the lord will not hear me.

I am very sad

Life continued

Today is a new day though nothing has changed. Took him to get car... Silence ... Came home he is working on stuff I am cleaning... Silence... Will this end?

Safeness

I have cried all day. I feel sad . I feel no hope ... I can't talk to him I have no relationship . I'm going to fast and pray. I pray our hearts are turned towards each other, and our relationship is restored. Please lord show your power to him tomorrow... Make yourself real and known. I watch in anticipation ... Give me hope